The Pink Panther 2 (2009)
Philip Goodwin: Renard
Quotes
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Dreyfus : [Chief Inspector Dreyfus is talking on the phone while his portrait is hung over the newly-installed security system] Right.
Dreyfus : [Dreyfus hangs up] Are you finished yet?
Security Installer : Complete and operational.
Renard : Chief Inspector, your new system will monitor and record every word and every movement in this room.
Dreyfus : So, uh, if anyone breaks in, what happens?
Renard : Your office is linked to the elite Black Berets; they will be here in seconds.
Woman on intercom : [the intercom buzzes] Sir, Inspector Clouseau is here to see you.
Dreyfus : Send him in.
Renard : Clouseau?
Dreyfus : I have to appoint him to the Dream Team.
Renard : Clouseau?
Dreyfus : [stammers] Dont, don't ask, don't-...
Insp. Jacques Clouseau : [Clouseau enters Dreyfus's office] Good afternoon, Chief Inspector, I'm here with my report.
Insp. Jacques Clouseau : [Clouseau's file folder gets caught up in his Medal of Honor ribbon; he pronounces the 'H' in honor instead of the usual silent 'H' French pronunciation] This darn Medal of Honor! You are so fortunate you never got one, Chief Inspector. You look so tidy having no honors or other forms of distinguishing décor.
Dreyfus : Why don't you wear it under your shirt; you know, out of sight?
Insp. Jacques Clouseau : Brilliant idea, Chief Inspector; that way, it won't clang around. Now, the parking ticket situation. Over the last 6 weeks, I've given out almost 4 parking tickets: one at the Musée, overtime, and one, you'll recall, to you, in violation of the bent license plate law.
Dreyfus : Yes, I recall.
Insp. Jacques Clouseau : It's all there in the report.
Dreyfus : Fascinating! Well, I shall waste no time in reading it.
Insp. Jacques Clouseau : And just in case, I've deftly catalogued, numbered, and cross-referenced each offense here in my little black book.
Dreyfus : Now Clouseau, you remember... when I first put you on that parking ticket detail...
Insp. Jacques Clouseau : Yes; you explained it was a top-level assignment.
Dreyfus : And that if anyone ever asked you if I was the one who had assigned you to this incredibly important mission, you would deny it?
Insp. Jacques Clouseau : [Clouseau acts as though he was denying any involvement in the assignment] Why Chief Inspector, I don't even know what you are talking about.
Dreyfus : [Clouseau jokingly winks at Dreyfus in acknowledgement] Good work, Clouseau.
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Dreyfus : What - How did you know that we were being recorded?
Insp. Jacques Clouseau : Ah, easy, Inspector: this pen emits a small 'bipping' noise whenever it detects 'meecrowaves'. Radio Shack, $12.
Dreyfus : What - How did you know the password?
Insp. Jacques Clouseau : This little LED chip decodes passwords; I had it attached to the back of my Medal of 'Hon-nor'.
Renard : Radio Shack?
Insp. Jacques Clouseau : [Clouseau takes what appears to be a small tape recorder from his pocket] eBay; I got this there, too. What do you think this is?
Renard : A tape recorder?
Insp. Jacques Clouseau : No. It only looks like a tape recorder; it's actually a pen.
Renard : So you can write with it, and no one will know.
Insp. Jacques Clouseau : Bingo!
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Dreyfus : Now, to, uh... to business.
Dreyfus : [Clouseau holds his pen in the air, it makes a slight beeping sound] I have been, uh, instructed to re-assign you to...
Dreyfus : [the beeping sound grows stronger] Clouseau? Clouseau...
Dreyfus : [Clouseau starts tossing his pen and objects from Dreyfus's desk at the security cameras and ripping Dreyfus's portrait to remove the tape recorder] Aahhhh...
Insp. Jacques Clouseau : We were being recorded!
Renard : [Dreyfus whimpers as the Black Berets break through Dreyfus's office windows] The Black Berets!
Black Beret : [yelling] The password! What is the password?
Dreyfus : I don't know!
Black Beret : [the agent subdues Dreyfus for interrogation] Four! Three!
Renard : We weren't yet told!
Black Beret : Two! One!
Insp. Jacques Clouseau : [Clouseau looks at the back of his Medal of Honor and mispronounces "Hamburger"] Amburgar!
Black Beret : Have a nice day.
[the agents leave Dreyfus's office]
Dreyfus : The password was "hamburger"?
Insp. Jacques Clouseau : No, "amburgar".
Dreyfus : I said "hamburger".
Insp. Jacques Clouseau : [repeating Dreyfus's mispronunciation] No, you said "amburger".
Dreyfus : Amburger?
Insp. Jacques Clouseau : No, "am-bur-grr".