- Justice of the Peace: Okay, now you: "I, Wee-Wee..."
- Wei-Wei: Wee-Wee.
- Justice of the Peace: "... take you, Wai Tung..."
- Wei-Wei: Wee-Wee.
- Justice of the Peace: Okay. "To be my wedded husband... to have and to hold..."
- Wei-Wei: Holding to have, husband, mine...
- Justice of the Peace: "... for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer..."
- Wei-Wei: Better and richer, no poorer.
- Justice of the Peace: "... in sickness and in health, till death do us part."
- Wei-Wei: Till sickness and death.
- Justice of the Peace: Groovy. Rings.
- Wai-Tung Gao: I don't know, we should have moved you out.
- Simon: I'll survive.
- Wai-Tung Gao: Not if Wei Wei keeps cooking.
- American Guest at the Wedding Banquet: God, and I thought the Chinese were meek and quiet math whizzes.
- Guest at the Wedding Banquet: You're witnessing the results of 5,000 years of sexual repression.
- Simon: Pregnant?
- Wai-Tung Gao: But I told you, Simon.
- Simon: Yeah, you told me you were drunk. You said, and I quote, "Things got out of hand." Yeah, out of hand and into...
- Wai-Tung Gao: Simon, shh...
- Simon: Well, what difference does it make? They don't even speak English. You know, Wai, I can say whatever the fuck I want in my own fucking house, in my own fucking language.
- Wei-Wei: Simon, it wasn't Wai-Tung's fault. I can explain.
- Simon: Oh, I don't even care who or what he fucks, but talk about stupid unsafe sex... hey, hey! Hey! I'm talking to you! I mean, how much more of this do you expect me to put up with...
- Mrs. Gao: Are we overstaying our welcome?
- Mr. Gao: Shut up and eat.
- Simon: Put down the fucking phone and listen to me!
- Wai-Tung Gao: So where do you get off? This whole thing was your idea, you fucking busybody. Wei-Wei wouldn't even be here but for you. And I wouldn't have to deal with any of this shit.
- Wei-Wei: Shit? I'm shit? You're a shit! You're all shit!